I posit a theory between two distinct worldviews: suspense vs play.\nThe modern age has forced us into suspense. Algorithms work on suspense.\nCan I hold your attention long enough that you get to the end of my\nYouTube video? Can I have you suspend your disbelief enough that you\nthink any of these institutions actually assist you?
\nOn the other side is play. We are told play is wrong and play is\ndemonized for adults. We think we need something like suspense to hold\nother people's attention and to have value. Ultimately, we need to\nconstantly prove ourselves and our value within the capitalist system.\nIf we don't continually provide value, we are worthless. If we have\ninherent worth, we can all just play and experiment with our\npreferences.
\nThe suspenseful world is as stressful as it sounds: my partner will\nonly love me as long as I continue to prove myself. I don't have\ninherent worth. I must constantly struggle for survival and I'm no\nbetter than anyone else.
\nThe playful world is as joyful as it sounds: we have inherent worth.\nWe, and everyone else, deserve to have their needs met and to explore\ntheir desires.
\nThe suspenseful world tends towards manipulation: if I just say these\nwords in the right order or have this genius business idea I will make\nit to the top. But then no one is happy there anyway because you have to\ncontinue fighting to be there.
\nIn a playful world, there is no need for manipulation; there's just\npreference. Something like the \"art of seduction\" is not about constant\nmanipulation of your \"target\", it's about people enjoying each other and\ntheir company.
\nThis suspenseful lifestyle is the source of many of the woes in the\nworld. How can people have deliberate, intentional relationships as they\nconstantly jockey for position and think they need to constantly perform\nfor their so-called loved ones? It leads to people justifying violence\nand being selfish.
\nImagine an actual playground: do you want to play with the bullies or\nthe group of friends having a good time? Somehow, we all ended up with\nthe bullies.
", "date_published" : "2026-06-30T16:59:00-04:00" }, { "id" : "http://134.122.31.158/#personal-software", "url" : "http://134.122.31.158/#personal-software", "title" : "Personal Software", "content_html" : "I ran across the Dangerous Writing App. You set a word count (or\ntime) and if you stop typing it deletes everything you wrote. Talk about\nkilling writer's block!
\nI decided to make a personal version so I didn't need to keep\nreloading that website. It felt wrong to dump personal journal entries\ninto a site who could be storing it in a database for all I know.
\nIn 52 lines of HTML, I was able to replicate all the features I\nwanted and customized them to my own preference.
\nI learned two things:
\nOne, it has always been easy and cheap to make personal software and\ntools.
\nTwo, when you know the rules (HTML), you can break them. I basically\nopened a blank file and started with a <textarea>, then added\n<style> and <script> tags. Fuck the <html> tag. You\ndon't need it. It's just for me, not to meet web or accessibility\nstandards. You'd be shocked what HTML the browser will still manage to\nrender.
\nSo, make your own shit. Make it ugly and useful as quick as you can.\nAdd to it if you need. But I haven't. I've written over 50,000 words now\nusing my own little writer block killer. I can set any word count I want\nand just go until I have something down. Typically I start with 1000\nwords and whittle it down. It helps with getting to the point as well. I\noften ramble so I can procrastinate the real work. But forcing 250 words\nout of you streamlines everything, especially after you already emptied\nthe faucet of the cruft.
", "date_published" : "2026-06-30T04:19:00-04:00" }, { "id" : "http://134.122.31.158/#refinding-reading", "url" : "http://134.122.31.158/#refinding-reading", "title" : "Refinding Reading", "content_html" : "When I was young, I was an avid reader. Like, read every book in the\nhouse three times can't-get-enough type of reader. But over time, even\nthough my passion didn't fade, I let the busy work of life intrude upon\nthe Sacred.
\nFirst it was other activities, like extracurriculars or just focusing\non social stuff. When college hit, I actually had a lot of free time and\nI reconnected with some passions had previously left behind: music,\nRunescape.
\nCollege consumed the rest of my identity in a way I didn't expect.\nNo, it wasn't the liberal professors (which you may be surprised to\nlearn don't have a massive presence at The Ohio State University), even\nif my estranged family would love to believe that. I never had a\nself-professed woke professor. I did have self-professed conservative\nones though, especially in the classics courses that I took.
\nEventually, I began reading again in the middle of college. I\nrealized, what was all of this for? Who am I? And how did I learn about\nthe world?
\nThere were so many jarring world-bending (to my own personal world at\nleast) realizations that had struck me, and I was seeking that high.\nWhat other way can you see the world from other perspectives?
\nSo I set a Goodreads goal and I've kept it ever since. The idea was\n100+ books a year, but I've settled around 50+. Quantity doesn't matter,\nbut I found I incentivized myself to read short stuff if it was set to\n100. I think tracking something like page count would be better, but\nit's simply pointless to track at all. My real goal is more perspective:\nthat has more to do with epiphanies which don't happen depending on the\nlength of a piece of work. Sometimes it is merely the distance between\nyou and the subject matter. If I only read self help books, I'd probably\nread about the 80/20 rule another seven-thousand times and not have a\nchange in my mindset or opinions.
\nP.S. It occured to me after writing this that rekindling or\nrediscovering is probably a more common way to describe this. But to be\nclear, I wasn't cultivating a love again. I never lost the love, so\nrekindling is inaccurate. And rediscovering is not quite right either. I\nnever fully stopped reading, but it changed to textbooks and articles\nrather than longform fiction, for instance.
", "date_published" : "2026-06-30T02:27:00-04:00" } ] }